In this talk, we peel back the curtain on the Secure Software Development Lifecycle (SSDLC) and explore some real war stories. Rather than focusing on idealized process models or textbook solutions, this session highlights some messy, funny, and sometimes frustrating real-world scenarios AppSec professionals face every day. Each phase of the OWASP SAMM framework becomes a round of mistake bingo, revealing lessons learned along the way. You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, and you’ll likely recognize more than a few of these examples from your own experience.